I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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