Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
