i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Randomize
