p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
