He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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