I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize