my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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