Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
