There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Randomize
