So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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