I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
