Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
