Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
