wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
