we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
