Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
