At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
