Midget sex pt 2 tonight
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize