I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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