Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
