No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
