Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
