I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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