Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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