Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
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