It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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