you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
