I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize