I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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