Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
