I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
