dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
