I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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