I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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