first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Randomize