If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize