Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
No...this little piggys going to the bar
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
