do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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