if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
she smelled like a LAN party
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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