did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
