apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
