you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
