I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
try to milk me bitch
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