I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
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