in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
