the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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