I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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