I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
