Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
