remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
