He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'm like, not good at living.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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