Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
