Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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