The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
