your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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