bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
