So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
