i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Just invented taco cereal.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
